Here's To 2018

" heres to the moments when we didnt think about right or wrong, where we just lived, crossed our fingers and hoped for the best "

- visualstatments.net

New Years Day. The day of that marks the beginning of the "new you". A day that marks the beginning of your New Year's resolution to better yourself, your environment, and your overall lifestyle. We make lists and dream about how the year will be better with us doing these things and yet a week later we're found sitting on the sofa with a bag of chips in our laps binge watching a show we've seen four times to date. All for what? A reassurance you'll get to it tomorrow? Next week? Next month or even next year?

Nobody follows through with their New Year's resolution. I barely keep up with update days let alone a resolution to get up early and start running with my dog. We collectively make these promises to ourselves with no intent to follow through and then expect to be a changed person by the end of the year. 

Nobody will be the same person at the end of the year. Nobody will leave this new year the same either. We, as humans, learn and as we learn we grow, and as we grow, we become different people. It's our job, right now, it find the source of our unhappiness in the past year and to smother it. It's now our job to cut out the toxic people, the problems they bring, and the trouble and leave it in the past. It's now time to learn from our mistakes, and to learn from our failures as failure is the greatest teacher. We learned not to make those mistakes and to do things differently and now we head into the new year with a new outlook and a fresh mind.   

Now, I challenge you reader, to make a daily, a weekly, and even a monthly resolution to yourself. No matter the size of it, I challenge you to make the task and to complete the task. Start by making your bed in the morning. Start by getting up earlier and going to sleep earlier. Start by adding more greens to your plate than meats. Start going on crazy adventures and start trying new things. Read books you like and those you don't. Eat the food you thought smelled funny but never tried or try a food you hated as a kid. Listen to new music and old music. Start somewhere, start small, and you'll be inclined to do much more than just a simple task. Start somewhere and be amazed by the change. 

So here's to 2018, the year the resolution changes. The year we become better people, lead better lives, and better the world we live in. 2018 will be the year that all the bullshit will be left in and the year become the people we are meant to be in due time. 

here's to 2018

here's to us

here's to the year of better 

Until We Perish,

Shads

All Of My Tomorrows

" You may not have a tomorrow "

- unknown 

We shrug life off of our shoulders with the phrase 'I'll do it tomorrow' but when do we ever really go forth in executing our plans for life? 

You plan to read that book you bought on clearance but never do.

You plan to cook something new but when you find that you don't have a certain you tell yourself tomorrow. 

You plan to leave your house and go on a trip and yet you sit on the sofa and sleep. 

You plan to get your dream job but as soon as the going gets tough you start saying tomorrow.  

You plan to have a partner to have and to hold with kids and a house of your own and yet you're too scared to let go of a past lover.     

You plan but when do you do?

What is it going to take for you to stop planning and start doing? When will you decide that it's time for you to experience life outside of what you know? You and I, we may not have a tomorrow. Many people will today as their last and there will be no tomorrow. They will have left things unsaid and plans left undone. You and I will do this as well, but the question is, how high do you want the number of unsaid and undone? 

Life a little. Live outside of the box. Live like everyday is your last. Live until the morning sun breaks the horizon with hues of oranges and yellows and then live again.  

I implore you, stranger, to fill your life with experiences and answered questions not fears and the regret of not doing it when you had the chance.

Until we perish, Shads

We are happy.

" one day happiness will find you "

unknown

Perhaps it's early in the morning on a Tuesday. The birds have started their day with a song. The sun shines through the gaps of the trees and slightly begins to illuminate the bedroom in which you share with someone you love. Let it be a pet, a person, or both for that matter. No one is awake but you. Your mind wonders before you take a deep breathe and smile widely. You're content. You're safe. You're happy. 

Or maybe you're in the old beaten up car that you can no longer tell if it was once red or if it was pink all along. The radio blares music played by the local radio station. The windows are rolled down and the crisp mountain air fills the car. You've taken a wrong turn but continued on anyway as towns passed by and you find yourself in a new place. You don't mind because you have all that you need in the car with you. You're content. You're safe. You're happy. 

It could even be a sudden moment in the middle of a concert crowd. You're listening to a band you've never heard of but they're pretty gosh-darn good. You're jumping around to the beat. Smiling and laughing. It was in that moment that you knew you were happy.

Happiness will find you. It will find you over and over and over again. Happiness was never a foreign concept for any of us. We will always have moments of defeat and failure, sadness and grief. Emotions are just a part of human life and it's okay to feel them but know that while we won't be happy forever we will have moments of pure euphoria we never want to end. We will also have moments of overwhelming sadness that it seems like everything good in the world is gone. Mother Earth has so much to offer to us its mind boggling. You just have to get out there to experience it. 

Go forth and adventure. 

Until We Perish, Shads

Of Wealth and Adventure

" you aren't wealthy until you have something money can't buy "

- Garth Brooks

Mortgage. 

Grocery bill. 

Water bill. 

Car insurance.

We work jobs to pay our bills and get on with life. We pay to adventure, don't we? Tickets and admission costs are high no matter where you go or what coupons you use. We pay to have fun. But what if you don't have to?

There's a saying, money can't buy happiness, in which I detest for reasons maybe you'll learn later on. However, the person that said these words can be proved right in many situations. My childhood was great, I'm not going to lie to you. We had great Christmas' and Halloweens. Birthdays were filled with cake and singing. For years it had just been my mother, older sister, and I before my little sister came along and the three of us became four. My father wasn't a man that would share his paycheck with his family. I can vaguely remember weeks where we ate only meatloaf for dinner. Weeks where my mother and father would yell over things I didn't quite yet understand as I was just a child. I remember weeks that he was gone and the four of us was once again left to our own devices. We weren't wealthy, but we lived well. We couldn't have new things or nice cars all of the time, but that didn't matter to us. My family and I found one of the several things the money can't buy and that was family.

Together, my family and I did so many things together. We worked on our garden and crafted. We had Nerf Gun wars. Played pretend kitchen with plastic foods and smiles. Played football in the front yard and walked the neighborhood. While we still went out and did things together much like we do now, we still managed to do something some have never done. Sometimes what's in front of you is enough.

Now I challenge you to do something with the people you call family or friends that doesn't cost money or put a strain on anyone. I challenge you to find happiness with what is in front of you.

Until We Perish, Shads


(unedited)

The Meaning Of Us

" why are we here? "

" because we're alive "

Sometimes I think it's the eerie glow of a lone flashlight compared to inky blackness of the night that continues to bring me back. No matter how far I go I'll always find my back to the source of light.

Sometimes I think there's something in the asphalt used to pave the roads I drive on that continues to bring me back. I always find myself looking down the road wondering where it will take me next.

Sometimes I think there's something in the flour I use to sprinkle the pastry dough. It keeps me coming back wondering what I could use it to make next. 

Sometimes I think it's the thump of the bass pressing into my chest that continues to bring me back to the music. The smell of pyrotechnics mixed with liquor is a smell I know best and it brings me home.  

Sometimes I think it's the endless opportunities that keeps the dream of life thriving. The feeling of doing something you never would have done otherwise. The feeling of breaking out of the normal day to day routine we have found ourselves trapped inside of.

But what keeps you from coming back again and again? Mortgage? No money? No friends? No time? Too old? Too young? There's a million reasons to stop someone from pursuing a life that they desire but in this case it's just you, isn't it? You're scared. Scared of what's going to happen. Scared of where your money is gonna go. Fear stops so many people from doing such great things. Fear has stopped me as well. Many things I wanted to do but I feared judgment, injury, a scolding. Fear has ruined many things until one day I realised that I am my fear.

But fear does not control me. I control fear.

And because I control it, I am no longer bored. I stepped outside of my six by six box and into a whole new world I never thought existed beyond the cardboard. It started with a simple dish I cooked in the kitchen to climbing into stone covered holes in the ground because I wanted to know where it went. I have become a person of plans, not dreams. A person of satisfaction instead of crippling curiosity. Though I will admit, curiosity never dies off.

Fear was normal. Fear molded us in boxes that continued a day by day without another thought.
Break the sense of normal. Control fear. Become the person you want to be.

Onwards Until We Perish

- Shads